For years I have said two things to people I coach and work with:
- Say yes to less
- Say no to a lot of things so you can say yes to a few things
Through the years, I’ve come to believe that lots of leaders struggle with saying no to people and opportunities.
In today’s guest, Dan Rockwell has some excellent thoughts on getting better at saying NO!
Guest Post by Dan Rockwell
Some get sweaty palms just thinking about turning someone down. Some leaders need speech therapy to learn to say no.
Other people run your life when you can’t say no.
- You become a tool for other people’s agenda.
- Constant yeses lead to hidden bitterness.
- Overcommitting dilutes your impact.
- Over time, people stop believing your commitments.
- Team members stop owning their problems.
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Learn to Say No
#1 Live for something that matters.
No begins with yes. What are you doing that makes saying no meaningful? You draw a line when something bigger than approval drives you.
When your goal is to be liked, you’ll say yes and regret it.
Honor your mission—learn to say yes.
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#2 Use no to serve others.
Use no to redirect. Don’t think rejection. Focus on something more valuable.
Refusing to set boundaries makes life harder. Stress increases. Try saying:
- “No, I can’t take this on. I’ll help you think through a path forward.”
- “No, this isn’t a fit right now. Thank you for bringing it up.”
No is powerful when it’s respectful. Don’t make excuses. Be brief.
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#3. Prepare for discomfort.
No might disappoint someone. It might create tension. Say it anyway. Momentary discomfort leads to lasting self-respect.
Avoidance feels easy in the moment, but it erodes trust and creates fatigue.
Tip:
Practice saying no with a friend or coach. Get comfortable using the word no when nothing’s on the line. Build confidence one honest conversation at a time.
The Ability to Say NO is the Power to do What Matters
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