We have met the enemy and it is “Us.” At times we can be our own worst enemy. One of the ways we do this is not leading ourselves well before attempting to lead others. Dan Rockwell shares some very interesting ideas on how toxic self-acceptance can corrode our leadership lives.
Guest Post by Dan Rockwell
Toxic self-acceptance corrodes life. Don’t be so pleased with yourself that it justifies mediocrity. We approve of ourselves and disapprove of others. Lopsided approval makes us thrash through life like a flat tire. Addiction to self-love becomes self-deception Others aren’t your biggest challenge. Self-leadership is harder than leading others.
Symptoms of toxic self-acceptance:
- Neglecting self-developRejecting feedback
- Focusing on fixing people
- Justifying failure
- Rejecting feedback
Turn toxic self-acceptance into healthy dissatisfaction.
What if Self-Love is Conceit – The Purpose of Self-Love
Escape toxic self-acceptance:
#1. Welcome dissatisfaction.
Step into things you don’t like about yourself. Don’t pretend everything about you is as it should be. The only person who doesn’t need growth is perfect already.
Growth means you aren’t there yet.
#2. Focus on yourself.
It’s easy to see flaws in others. It’s brave to see them in yourself. Jung said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
When others irritate you lead yourself first. Ask…
- How might I do the same thing?
- What does my frustration reveal about me?
- How am I justifying myself by criticizing others?
- What blind spot in myself might I be missing?
The Secrets to Self-Leadership
#3. Participate “with”.
You are part of the team. Critics see themselves as one above, not one of. Leaders influence from within. Standing aloof limits leadership.
Resist complacency. Reject comfort. Accept yourself and pursue your best self.
How are you seeing self-acceptance become toxic?
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